I'm Not Bossy, I'm THE Boss

Sheryl Sandberg has done it again, she has managed to spark a vision that all women should become leaders and not let trivial words from our childhood impact our future of leadership. After her Lean In talk and her in depth book describing the steps that women need to take in order to rise up to the next level, a few powerful women joined the bandwagon for change.

Most recently, Sheryl Sandberg has created a campaign based off her idea that women should be the boss, but not be called bossy. The #banbossy campaign aims to have girls at a young age continue to exhibit leadership qualities and not shy away from leading because they were labeled as “bossy.” The word bossy itself is naggy and has a negative connotation, but when broken down, the word “boss” is something that all ambitious, aspiring boys want to be. Simply changing boss from a noun to an adjective by adding the –y at the end changes it from a goal geared towards boys to an insult aimed at girls.

The Ban Bossy Mission is:

When a little boy asserts himself, he is called a “leader.” Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded “bossy.” Words like bossy send a message: don't raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. Together we can encourage girls to lead.

Change the words.

Change the future.

Ban Bossy.

Encourage girls to lead.

 

Sandberg collaborated with some very prominent women while creating this campaign, including the Boss herself, Beyoncé. Beyoncé ends the campaign video with the statement “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.” There is no denying that Queen Bey is in fact the Boss, and the distinction that she makes between boss and bossy is crucial to the development of leadership skills within young girls. Girls should aim to be the Boss, not bossy.

Just like any other campaign, #banbossy has created a lot of controversy. Ann Friedman, a writer from NYMag, believes this is going to be a failed attempt because she feels it represents a feminist strategy that has failed in the past. Additionally, many people that object to this new campaign believe that the word “bossy” is not as significant of an issue to warrant celebrities like Jennifer Garner and Beyoncé to be sponsoring this movement. 

Some of the negative feedback from this newly launched campaign includes:

“Among African American women, bossy is an anthem, not a pejorative. “

Sandberg wrote in Lean In that women should not be afraid to negotiate, or to take a seat at a table where men are. “This is useful advice if you are already in the room, but less so if you can't even get a foot in the door. Only people with privilege have the time or the inclination to argue the semantics of whether a woman's feelings are hurt by being called bossy or bitchy.” – Joshunda Sanders

 “The main reason I can’t stomach a bossy ban, though, is that it represents a feminist strategy that’s failed in the past, and it plays into a negative characterization of feminism more generally.” – Ann Friedman

“If we try to simply remove struggle from their lives, and shelter them from what this world, positive or negative, might have in store for them, it is a disservice to our children. Are we not supposed to help our kids understand emotions, obstacles, solutions and problem-solving to the best of our abilities?” - Brandon-Regina Payne-Hilton

My issue with the #banbossy campaign is that it is such a childish issue. No man in the workforce would go up to his boss, or coworker for that matter, and call him or her bossy. This word is primarily used on playgrounds and in classrooms when a young girl exhibits domineering traits. I understand that the whole purpose of the campaign is to have girls be less affected by this “negative” word so that they can let their leadership skills continue to grow. Is this really a problem that requires media attention? Personally, I do not think that Beyoncé or Jennifer Garner would be offended if someone were to call them bossy. They are both very strong, powerful women who have excelled in their careers and they are role models of so many people, including myself.

If Sandberg believes that the elimination of degrading words including “bossy” will increase the amount of women leaders, how does she describe the lack of leadership from girls who were never punished or called derogatory words during their childhood? I know that when I was growing up, the only person that called me mean things was my bully of a brother. Even at a young age, I knew not to listen to him and not to take what he said seriously. I am sure that I am not the only girl that was not called bossy as a child. How would Sandberg explain the lack of leadership skills from people that grew up in sheltered, supportive households?

I think there is a much greater problem than simply eliminating the word bossy being used in a negative context towards girls at a young age, and I would agree with many critics that banning bossy isn’t the answer.